Izzie's Story
by WriterC
Summary: Why is Izzie meeting a psychiatrist? Why would she tell him about her daughter, her pregnancy, and what went so terribly wrong with the adoption? Slightly IzzieAlex. Might be a tearjerker if you're in the mood. Short story. Enjoy!
1. Session one

Session one

She stops and reads the tile in the wall. Yes, this is the place. She breathes out and opens the door. The hall she's standing in now is painted soft yellow. Combined with the exotic plants sitting on the small tables on each side of the hall it gives her a warm feeling. She knows this is probably no coincidence. The colours are to calm you down, the plants to add a little freshness to the interior. The waiting room is painted in blue, green and yellow. All soft tints. She walks towards the glass. An attractive young woman sits behind it, reading a magazine. She looks up as she hears the clearing of a throat.

"Hi. I uhm, I have an appointment at two o'clock."

The woman flops through a huge planner and finds the date and time and her name.

"Sure. Walk right through those doors over there. He's waiting for you."

"Thanks. Thank you," she replies. The nerves are present in her voice but the woman pays no attention to her anymore; she's gone back to reading her magazine.

She clinches the hand bag and swallows. Then she opens the door and steps into the office.

A middle-aged man sitting behind his desk looks up from his papers and with an elegant gesture takes off his glasses.

"You must be Isobel. Hello," he says in a calm but warm voice as he stands up and gestures for her to take a seat on the sofa.

"Hi. Nice to meet you," she replies as she shakes his hand and sits down. It probably isn't a coincidence that he didn't ask 'how are you' either. The colours of this room are the same as in the hall and waiting area. The sofa is designed for people to sit or lie comfortably on. Was she supposed to lie down, she wondered. Luckily the doctor answers her question before she is able to ask it.

"Don't worry. You don't have to lie down. You may, of course, but it's not necessary for our conversation."

She takes her hand bag from her shoulder and puts it beside the sofa, on the floor.

"Oh thanks. I'd rather just sit here." She crosses her legs and arms and realizes that isn't a very open position, so she uncrosses them and sits back feeling a little awkward. Wasn't he supposed to start the conversation? The doctor fumbles through the papers on his desk and finally finds a mini voice recorder. He pushes a button and also finds a sheet of paper.

"All right," he says as he picks up his glasses and puts them on. "Isobel Stevens. Twenty-six years old, works as... a surgeon at Seattle Grace Hospital!" he whistles appreciatively. "You like what you do?" he asks.

She hasn't seen this question coming yet and has to think to remember what exactly his question was.

"Yes. I love my job."

"I can tell from your reaction that's not what you've come to see me about."

A brief silence.

"No. It's not." This is the moment where she tells him why she _has_ come to see him. "It's uhm... It's kind of complicated," she **s**tutters.

"That's okay. Just, start at the beginning. Take your time." The doctor takes off his glasses again and rests his elbows on his knees. He smiles encouraging at her.

She moves her gaze to the painting hanging on the wall on her left and thinks of where she should begin.

"I grew up in this trailer park. I lived with my mom, my dad lived at the local bar. I didn't have much friends. I don't have any siblings. I did well in school and I dated the homecoming king, Chris. We were very much in love. He used to, you know, take me out on dates. To the park, to the lake, he even took me out shopping one day and bought me this beautiful, short red dress to wear to the next homecoming dance," she smiles as she recalls this pleasant surprise. "He had worked a whole weak to earn the money to buy it."

"He sounds like a sweet guy."

"Oh yes. Yes, he was." Her smile slowly fades but the doctor lets her take her time to continue.

"Anyway, my mother didn't approve of Chris. He was handsome and kind, yes, but his family was poor. Like ours. And he aspired becoming a pilot which was also wrong because if we got married he would always be away from home and I would become this unhappy wife captured in her own house."

"Did you disagree with your mother on that?"

She shrugs.

"Not necessarily. She was right, I guess. But we were only fifteen and seventeen and we were just starting our lives. We just wanted to be together. Things were fine for about a year but then I turned sixteen and my mother wanted me to break up with Chris because he was eighteen and probably out to 'get laid' as she called it."

"Was he?"

She looks up at him, suddenly a serious look in her eyes.

"I don't know. I hadn't paid that much attention to it. Surely we kissed and we were very cuddly but he had never tried to make love to me. I don't know if I would have if he had. I loved him deeply but I was also scared of the pain and everything I think. Every girl knows most 'first times' aren't pleasant. At least the other girls said so."

"Did you make love?"

She is taken aback by this intimate question but then realizes it's his job and he probably asks every patient about their sex-life. She shouldn't feel embarrassed to answer his question. Still she decides to ignore it. She crosses her legs and continues her story.

"It was homecoming dance. Chris was eightteen so he was able to get alcohol. Beer, wine, cocktails. I drank a lot that night. I drank too much. Chris drove me home after he found me hanging over a toilet seat in the girls' bathroom. I had never drunk alcohol in my life so I was pretty much wasted. Chris told me he would bring me to my mother but I said I didn't want her to see me like that. Like my dad. Chris said he understood so he drove to our favourite spot in the park. It was deserted and we lay down on the grass. I remember it tickling my bare legs. He was telling me how beautiful I looked and how much he loved me. I kissed him and before I knew it we were naked. I was drunk, he wasn't sober either. I guess I don't have to tell you what happened next..."

"Only if you want to."

"No."

"That's all right."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Although I didn't like it that he had taken advantage of me that night, Chris and I were still together afterwards. I hadn't told anyone what had happened and I hoped Chris wouldn't either. I knew I was too young and that I could be pregnant but I never thought that would happen to me. Not if it was only my first time."

"But it did, didn't it?"

"Yes. I was only a week over time when I started to get worried and asked Chris to buy a pregnancy test. When that strip turned blue it was as if my throat was pressed shut. I nearly fainted. The panic I felt was almost too much to handle."

"How did Chris react?"

"He just turned really pale and told me he would arrange for an abortion as soon as possible. I was scared though and I said I didn't want it. He said that it would be my problem then, that he would have nothing to do with the child. I started crying and he left. I was desperate. No way I could tell my mom. Let alone my dad. He was living in his own little world of alcohol and poker buddies. My mother found out though."

"How did she find out?"

"I was throwing up all day long. I couldn't hold anything inside for more than a few minutes. She must have recognized the signs. She had been pregnant herself! At any rate she wasn't exactly pleased to hear I was having a baby. She shouted at me and broke every dish and cup we owned."

"What did she say?"

"Things like: I told you he was only out to fuck you, you knew you shouldn't drink alcohol, you're only sixteen for Christ's sake, why didn't you use protection."

She swallows as tears appear in the corners of her eyes.

"How did that make you feel?"

"Alone. Desperate. Afraid. I thought my life was over. I thought it was the end of the world. I thought God must hate me."

"Were you thinking of having an abortion?"

She shakes her head.

"No. No that never occured to me as an option. Girls had died having their embryos removed, girls had been mutilized."

"What did you think were your options?"

"I thought I had two: either killing myself and my baby, or having it and run away from home."

"You obviously, and fortunately, didn't choose the first."

"Well I didn't choose the second either. I was too scared to run away. A lot of horrible things can happen to young girls who are alone and unprotected."

"That's right. But how did you live with a baby growing inside of you and no one to support you?"

"That's what I wondered. My mother ignored me as did Chris and I was on my own. But this one night, I had a dream. I was standing somewhere, alone, and all the sudden there was a baby lying on the ground between my legs. I picked it up and wrapped it in a blanket. It was a girl, a beautiful tiny baby girl with pinkish skin and blonde hair. She was sleeping in my arms. I looked at her and I wondered: how could this little creature sleep so soundly and carefree in my arms? And I loved her. I loved her with all my heart. To be the only person in the entire world that she wanted, that she needed, that she wanted to be close to, made me feel ecstatic. We belonged to one another. She was my daughter and she had picked me to be her mother. Why, I couldn't let her down, could I? So with that dream I found a new purpose in life: having my daughter and give her all the love I could give. I believe that that night, her soul had come to me and picked me and became the child growing inside of me. I was sure I would have a girl. I realized I never had to be alone again, that no one could hurt me because I had my baby inside of me. She was protecting me until it was time for me to protect her."

The doctor smiles.

"That sounds like one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. But tell me, did you still go to school?"

"Oh yes. I loved school. It was something I was good at, where I meant something, where I was smart."

"Your growing belly didn't go unnoticed, I suppose?"

"Actually for the first –I think it were about five- months it did. I wore large clothes to hide it away. Besides, everyone thought I was just getting fat because I ate like a horse," a grin crosses her face.

"But one time I was changing for PE and one of the other girls came in and caught me holding and stroking my belly. On purpose I tried to be late each lesson so I would be the last to change. And it was hard not to constantly touch my belly because I felt so connected to the baby inside of me and I couldn't wait to hold it in my arms. The look on her face was indescribable; she immediately closed the door and told my teacher. I was called to the principal's office ten minutes later and he told me he knew I was pregnant. He asked me what I was going to do about it and what my plans for my education were. I told him there was no doubt in my mind that I was having this baby and that I would graduate. He thought about that for a moment and said that if that was true, I could continue following classes and that if there were any problems I could ask him for help. He must have liked it that I was actually planning on trying to make it out of the trailer park and fight for a future."

"I can imagine he did."

"He was a good man. Once the news was spread that I was pregnant my life at school became a lot harder though. The boys would call me a slut and a whore, make dirty comments about my breasts and 'accidentally' bump into me. The girls did everything to make me feel uncomfortable anywhere I went including talking about me just loud enough so I could hear them. The teachers, I knew, felt sorry for me. What is a child like her going to do with a baby, they probably thought. Well, I was more mature than they assumed. I had babysitted my neighbour's children for years and they had a baby girl, too. So I didn't lack experience when it came to changing diapers, bathing and feeding. Chris, well, I hardly ever saw him again. I'm sure he was afraid that I would make a scene if I came face to face with him. Really, I couldn't care less if I saw him every minute of the day. I had something way more important to put my energy in. All the sudden I had become a woman. I was no naive sixteen year old high school girl anymore. I had a big responsibility and I was aware of it. Actually I thanked God for giving me the most precious gift in the world: my own baby."

"Weren't you mad at Chris?"

"I guess I was, but I had other things on my mind at the time. He just... never really occured to me anymore. I had somehow managed to forget about him, about my life before my daughter chose me to be her mother. She was my motivation to live. My grades even improved!"

"Have you wanted to become a surgeon your whole life?"

"Actually, no. At the time I didn't even think about getting a job. I just wanted my grades to be as high as possible so one day I could get out of there."

"For how long did you go to school? While you were pregnant, I mean."

"Until about a month before I was due."

"How did you know when you were due?"

"In the eighth month of my pregnancy I woke up with a stomach-ache. I didn't think too much of it really. Went to school and everything, even took a Biology test. I got an A+ for that," she is still proud of herself and smiles.

"Anyway, the stomach-ache got worse. And worse. At one point I went to the bathroom and saw I was bleeding. I thought I was having a miscarriage and I just... freaked out. I ran to the principal's office and thanked God to find him there. I jerked open the door and began screaming that I was bleeding and that I was so scared I was going to lose my baby. I was holding my belly and begged my daughter to please stay with me, to not leave me alone. I would do anything to let us be together. The principal phoned for an ambulance and tried to comfort me. I was so glad I wasn't on my own when that happened," she smiles through her tears.

"I was brought to the hospital and the principal stayed with me. He held my hand while the doctor was checking me and my baby. That's when I got my first ultrasound and I saw my daughter for the first time. She was tiny and her heart was pounding. She was in total peace, probably even sleeping. One of the most happy moments in my life was when the doctor came back in and told me my baby was okay. He also said that I should rest until the delivery though. The principal, he told me to call him Robert, said he would make sure of that and he would take me home. I told him I was worried about school and my grades if I didn't go to school but he assured me it will be fine. He would drop by with some homework on his way home every day so I could study on my own."

"That was very generous of him."

"Yes. Yes it was. Hannah was born three weeks early. The delivery started at one am and my mother took me to the hospital. Because I was young and flexible it wasn't a very hard delivery, although I can tell you I've never had agonizing pains like that in my whole life."

She pauses and wipes away a few tears trickling down her cheek.

"My mother wouldn't even hold my hand," she says in a small voice.

The doctor opens one of his drawers and gets out a tissue. She gratefully takes it and blows her nose.

"Sorry," she says apologizingly.

"Don't be. Crying is good for you," he says and smiles encouragingly.

"At five am on June 20th I finally got to hold her in my arms. I completely forgot about the pain. All I could do was look at her, hold her, put my finger in her tiny fist. The nurse told me she was a healthy baby girl and I said I knew. The connection was there immediately. The same I had felt in my dream and while she was in my belly. Only from now on it was the other way around; I was to protect her. She was crying but the second she started drinking she was silent. I remember the way she looked at me. She had her big blue eyes wide open and she looked at me as though she wanted to remind me I was the one to take care of us now. Then she closed her eyes and continued drinking. I had been kind of nervous for the feeding part but it seemed like I didn't have to do anything. It just worked. Three glorious weeks later we were discharged from the hospital and I brought Hannah home."

"How were you able to pay for the hospital?"

"The doctor said I could pay in instalments. That meant I had to get a job though, and I didn't want to leave Hannah alone or with anyone but me. I still didn't get any help from my mother. She said she wasn't going to pay for anything Hannah needed and when I yelled at her that she was her granddaughter she answered that she didn't have a granddaughter. After fights like that Hannah's broad smile always made me laugh again. The principal was still dropping off my homework on a daily basis and he said Hannah was the most beautiful baby he'd ever seen. I kept studying on my own and only went to school again to take my exams. I passed every class. But then I had to seriously think of the future. Was I going to college? With my grades I could get any scholarship I wanted, go to any university I wanted. A part of me wanted to be a doctor but I'd have to leave Hannah with a stranger almost every day. I told my mother about this and she said I'd better become a doctor and get myself out of the trailer park. I had a future, for Christ's sake and she wouldn't let me throw it away because of a baby. I shouted at her that I would never, ever, give Hannah up. Not for all the money in the world. She was the light of my life, she was what gave me a purpose in this world. Plus we were so much alike. Her blue eyes were changing to brown ones, like mine. We had the same hair colour. I couldn't believe how much she looked like me and not resembled Chris at all. I guess that was how it was meant to be."

Her expression changes. She rests her head in her hands. When she looks up her face is hard, drained from the happiness it was showing before.

"Apparently my mother had filled in the application forms in my place. One day all the sudden she pressed an envelope in my hand. "Here," she said, "take this. Go to the hospital. Pay them off." Of course I couldn't believe what she was doing at first, but then I thought maybe she _had_ grown to love Hannah and she decided she would be a grandmother from now on. I left Hannah with my mom and took a cab to the hospital. Two hours later I came back home. I remember it felt as if something was wrong. As if I shouldn't have left. I opened the door and my mom was sitting at the table, a beer in hand and about a dozen empty bottles on the table. She looked up at me and said: "She's gone, baby." Her voice was so cold, so cold when she told me my daughter was gone. And I just stood there and felt the life go out of me. Everything that I was disappeared in the earth underneath my feet and I was left an empty shell."

She stares at a spot on the wall behind the doctor, her eyes hollow as she recalls the day her daughter was taken away from her.

"I didn't even want to know what she meant by 'gone'. Was she dead? Was she adopted all the sudden? Nothing. My head was empty I had no emotion left. For a month I lay in bed. It's a miracle I didn't die from a lack of nutrition."

"Did your mother ever tell you what she had done with your daughter, with Hannah?"

"After that month in bed I realized that I still needed to get out of there. I wanted to leave it all behind me, make a fresh start you know. So I signed up for one of the colleges my mom had applied for and when I left the last thing she said to me was: "Hannah's with good people." I could do nothing but assume and hope she was right. Then she hugged me and I got into the bus. I studied medicine and did some modelling to pay for it. I made some friends, got a life. There was always a hole inside of me though. I would never be the same, I decided, but I could give the new Isobel a go. I sort of changed my name into Izzie. Everyone calls me that now."

"Is Izzie a lot different from Isobel?"

"Izzie's older, not as mature but pretty mature. Izzie has great friends. And a boyfriend, Alex, who loves her. Izzie's hole is not that big whereas Isobel's hole is about the size of her whole body. Izzie loves her job as a surgeon. Izzie's happy."

"Then why did you come to me?"

"Izzie didn't. Isobel did."

"All right. Isobel, why did you come to talk to me? How can I help you?"

She bends slightly forward and says in a low voice that's almost a whisper: "I think she's my patient."

The doctor is visibly startled. He hasn't seen it coming.

"What do I do now?" she asks in a desperate voice.

The doctor clears his throat.

"What makes you think it's her?"

"Her eyes, her face, her hair, the way she moves, the way she talks, the look in her eyes, the connection I feel we have, everything. It's just... like I'm looking at myself when I was nine years old. I know it's her."

"Do you think she knows?"

"I think she recognizes me, but she doesn't know why. She told me I was the sweetest doctor in the world," she says and smiles as tears fill her eyes.

"Have you met her parents? Her adopted parents, I mean."

She sighes and with regret in her voice replies: "Yes, they're her parents now. And yes, I met them. They seem very good people and Hannah, I mean Sophie is very fond of them. They don't have a clue as to who I am."

"Are you going to keep it that way?"

"I think that's best for Sophie. But Isobel just wants her Hannah back, fill up that excruciating hole."

"So..."

"So I don't know yet. I thought maybe you could help me."

"That's a very difficult decision, Isobel. A very difficult decision..."

She nods her head that she understands.

"To be frank, I cannot tell you what to do. All I can do is help you make a list of the advantages of trying to get your daughter back, or at least telling her you're her mother, and the disadvantages. But I think before we do that, you should take some time to think really hard about the situation. Decide who you want to be: Izzie or Isobel."

There is a brief moment of silence and then the doctor stands up from his chair.

"Let us say we meet again next week," he says.

"All right," she replies and grabs her hand bag before she stands up from the sofa and shakes the doctor's hand.

"You can make an appointment with Claire, behind the desk."

"Okay. Thank you."

"See you next week!"

"Yeah. Till then," she says and closes the door behind her. She walks over to the young woman behind the glass, Claire, apparently, and sets an appointment for the next week, same time. Once outside she closes her eyes and breathes in the fresh air. Then she fixes her hair by making a ponytail and disappears in the crowd of people passing the building and rushing to their destinations.


	2. Session two

Session two

There she is again in the doctor's office sitting on the comfortable sofa. Claire told her she could walk right through and the doctor would be there in a minute. The door opens and the doctor emerges. She gets up from the sofa.

"No, no, no. Please don't get up, don't get up," he says friendly. He takes a seat behind his desk and gets out his voice recorder. He checks if the right tape's in and pushes the record button.

"So, Isobel, how are you doing?"

She sighs and looks at his shoes.

"Not very well I'm afraid."

"Tell me about it," he says and turns his chair towards her.

"I er, I diagnosed Hannah- Sophie...," she can't hold back her tears anymore and they run freely over her face now.

"I'm sorry," she says and gratefully takes the tissue the doctor passes her. "I diagnosed her with leukemia. She's not going to make it. Her parents thought she was just having a bad flu. But then she got little bleedings underneath her skin and their physician sent her straight to the hospital. Anyway," she says as she pulls herself together, "Alex proposed to me this weekend."

"Why congratulations! Or not?"

"Not yet. I want to marry him, I'm pretty sure he's the one, you know. But I can't marry him before he knows the truth about me. So instead of saying 'yes' and fall in his arms crying of happiness I told him there were things he needed to know about me first. Then he could propose to me again and I would accept, if he'd still want me then that is."

"So did you tell him about Hannah? And Isobel?"

She nods her head.

"Yes. As a matter of fact I did."

"How did he take it?"

"Oh he was so sweet to me. He told me he was so sorry that I'd had to carry that secret for so long. He said he was so sorry about my daughter. He also said he wanted me to be the mother of his children. But he understands that might be a little hard for me. He said he'd wait for me though."

"What did you say to him?"

"I said nothing. I just cried in his arms. He asked me what was wrong and I couldn't hide it from him anymore. He knows Hannah is my patient and she's not likely to ever turn ten."

She pauses.

"He's there for me though."

"That's very good to hear. You shouldn't try to do this on your own," the doctor says in a soft voice. "You remember that list we talked about last week?"

"Yes."

"Have you made a decision yet?"

"I'm not going to tell her," she says and sighs. "I think that's best for all of us. I can't do that to her or her parents while she's dying. Hannah and me... I guess in the end we just weren't meant to be together. I had the happiest time of my life when she was my daughter. But it just wasn't possible."

The doctor seems to touched but does a good job hiding his emotions.

"How are you going to deal with this?" he asks.

"I don't know. At least I have the chance to say good bye. I'll have to let her go and go on with my life with Alex. Marry him, be a surgeon, maybe even be the mother of his children. Our children. But Hannah will always be my child. My daughter. My baby. My rescue from that trailer park."

"What does Alex think you should do?"

"About that decision between Izzie and Isobel: he says I have to let Isobel get some closure. Then she'll be able to 'merge' with Izzie," a smile crosses her face.

"Do you think Alex is right?"

She shrugs.

"He is most of the time. But seriously? I do. I think he's right."

"Well, that's a start then. How are you going to say good bye?"

"I'll figure out a way. I'll be okay."

"I think you will. You seem like a very strong woman."

"Thank you."

"I do recommend we continue our conversations though. I know being a surgeon is a very demanding job. You don't always have time to talk to somebody. And this way you make time to talk. Suppressing your emotions is the worst thing you can do. Incidentally, talking to a stranger who's willing to listen to all you have to say often helps a lot," the doctor says and encouragingly winks at her.

"I will keep you in to business, don't worry," she smiles.

"Ah! Thank you! Now, unless there's anything else you wish to discuss you can set your next appointment with Claire."

They both stand up and the doctor escorts her to the door.

"Thanks again," she says and smiles.

"No problem, Isobel. No problem. See you next week."


	3. Alex

Alex

"Izzie... I just heard a moment ago. I'm so sorry," Alex says as he enters the bedroom. She's sitting on the edge of the bed, phone in her hand, crying.

Cristina has just called her to tell Sophie died that morning. Probably around five am. She died peacefully in her sleep.

"Izzie," he says, his voice filled with concern and sympathy, "Iz..."

"She was my daughter," is all she can say.

Alex puts his arms around her and strokes her hair.

"I know. I know she was."

"I loved her so much! I love her so much! How did this all happen? Why did I leave her alone with my mother that day? I should have taken her with me... I should..." her words are choked in sobs. It breaks Alex's heart to see her like this.

"It's not your fault, Iz, there's nothing you could have done to change it. If things need to happen they do, one way or another. Hannah gave you this life. If it wasn't for her you wouldn't have gone to med school. I wouldn't have met you. You're my girl, you're all I want."

Her sobs have faded and she sits snuggled up in his arms, feeling comfort, true comfort for the first time in her life. Even though Hannah has left her, she's not alone. Alex is right. Hannah brought her to him. Enabled her to get out of the trailer park and have a future. A future with a job, a husband and probably kids. She decides she would never let him go. She would never let him be taken away from her.

"Yes," she whispers.

"What, baby?"

"Yes. I do."

Alex stops stroking her back and she sits upstraight to face him. A smile crosses her face and he smiles, too.

"Oh Isobel," he whispers and brings his face close to hers.

"I love you..." he says as their lips meet. She puts her hands on his shoulders pulling him closer as he grabs her waist and does the same. They feel connected, they feel the same, they feel loved. They feel as if they were just starting their lives.


	4. Hannah

Hannah

It's the end of her shift and she decides to check on Sophie one more time before she goes home. The room is dark but the moonlight shines through the window and makes the little girl in the bed look angelic.

For a moment she just stands there, looking at Hannah. Looking at her daughter. The baby she carried for eight months and a week. The child that would smile at her when she'd had a fight with her mother. The memories hurt and make her feel happy at the same time. She decides it's time to tell her. To tell this little girl with the same blonde hair who she is.

"Hi Hannah," she says as she approaches the bed. Everything's silent around them. The room is empty except for the two of them.

"How have you been doing?" she strokes her hair. "What have you been up to, huh? Did you miss me?" she says and a tear slides down her cheek.

"I'm your mother, baby. You were inside my belly for over eight months. You picked me, remember? We were looking after each other. We were doing fine," she sighs the last word and takes the small hand in her own.

"We look so much alike, don't you think? We were meant to be together, but we couldn't. The only way we could see each other again was for you to get sick. And now you're dying..."

"I like to think that you wanted to be with me so badly that you couldn't live if that wasn't possible. I also like to believe that deep down you know you're supposed to be with me. That I'm your mother. That our souls are connected."

"I guess we're saying good bye now, aren't we? You'll be an angel again, soon. Then you'll be able to watch over me again. Do you remember when I fed you for the first time and you looked at me and your eyes were saying that I was the one to take care of us now?"

The emotions of both joy and sadness are overwhelming and she's silent. Suddenly Hannah opens her eyes. It were the same eyes that had looked at her when Hannah was just a baby, only her eyes were brown now. Like her mother's.

"Mommy?"

Even Hannah's voice resembles her own. She bends down and kisses her forehead.

"Yes, baby. I'm here."

Hannah looks at her intently. It's a look of recognition, of comfort, of sadness. Then Hannah goes back to sleep. The pounding of her heart is almost audible. Her chest is heaving and she feels so overwhelmed that she sits down on the floor with her back against the wall and cries in her hands. Oh dear God, why take her away from me? Why do I have to lose her again? Why is it that we can't be together?

When she's calmed down she wipes the tears from her face with her sleeve and looks at her daughter for the last time.

"I love you Hannah," she whispers and presses a kiss on her forehead. Then she leaves the room.

* * *

I really hope you liked reading this. I had a dream like Izzie's myself and I want a baby, too!!! Only not now. I'll wait a few years! Anyway, please be kind and leave me a review. Tell me what you think. Or if you don't feel like typing it out just leave me a grade. Oh and I know that I twisted many facts. Thanks for reading!

- WriterC.


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